Critz Kermis: Kim’s first ‘Cross Race – Chicks, Dicks, Cigars?

Critz Farm, Cazenovia, NY

September 18, 2010

The start of the women’s race at the Critz Farm, an “Agri-tourist” destination in Central New York….it’s a Christmas tree farm, pumpkin patch, corn maze, blueberry farm, kids’ playground, maple sugaring shack and they have the most amazing, hot, crispy, tiny doughnuts.

Here’s the race report, from LiLynn who channeled Kim….

This is how the day started with most of the women’s field grouped together looking at bloody wounds and scars and I said “Chicks dig scars.” When you “cross” over, I guess the mind just gets all dirty too! They all thought I said, “Chicks, dicks, cigars…”

After about 5 minutes we got this topic cleared up and started discussing how too sabatoge Ruthless’s bike so we might keep her in sight for at least the first 50 yards. We then realized the faster she went, the less laps we would have to do, so we put the air back in her tires to the perfect pressure to assure full speed ahead. We also tightened her derailier back to where it originally was so she could shift gears. Just kidding. We aren’t that bad. But we did leave the rocks her in back pocket jersey. Ha.

This was my first race on a cross bike in a cross race with crossed over crazy chicks. So looking around made me very nervous. I’m a born again Mnt biker, I come from a strong line of Mountain bikers. My grand daddy crossed the Rocky Mountains on a makeshift bike that he carried a lot of the way and put these big tires on that he filled with rubber cement (the first tubeless). He was a little ahead of his time. I look at some of those old photos and he has that shoulder carry down pat.

Well he built me my first mnt bike when I was just a youngun and this cross course was like riding in my back yard. Here I didn’t think I would do very good with these seasoned roadies and old crossies but go figure. We took off and I was on the farm with my grand daddy in my head saying “ride like a bull in heat hunny.”

First I was chasing LiLynn the dog with Kate the Kat hot on my tail, and then LiLynn blew through a turn and got her baggy assed shorts stuck on the front of her saddle and couldn’t remount. So I blew past her because I was after my heffer. She eventually got her shorts back on and on her saddle and was riding behind me. What she didn’t know was I had my grand daddy in my head and was riding like a possessed crossed eyed bull in heat. This was my course and that rubber cement in my tires was working so perfectly that I didn’t even slow down through the turns.

LiLynn just started cheering me on to go harder and faster and harder and faster. Made me wonder what she had on her mind. Turned out she just wanted me to close the gap to Ruthless, who had been in China for over a week and was totally sleep deprived and untrained and maybe, just maybe there was a glimmer of hope that we could… Oh crap, she road by a half lap ahead. Coming into the final stretch I came up on Cynthia finishing her 2nd cross race and going for 3rd masters!

Well I just road for my grand daddy and gave it all I had and found my inner cross wild bull in heat. No stopping me now. LiLynn asked me where the hell that came from and I just smiled. Thanks grand dad. Now where’s that heffer?

 

Results:

Open Women:

Kim Behrman 2nd

 

Master Women:

LiLynn Graves 1st

Kate Stewart 2nd

Cynthia Schneideker 3rd

 

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